My Transparent Tribute

Mr. and I just returned from taking a weekend trip to St. Louis, Missouri to visit his grandparents and uncle.  This was the first trip that we have taken as a family.  Little Boy traveled like a champion!  Mr. and I were expecting him to hate being strapped in his car seat for 5 hours…but a mid point stop, some food, and a diaper change- Little Boy was ready to finish the ride!  He was incredible…so incredible I bought him another book for his ever-growing library!

Taking this trip to visit with family has inspired this post.  It’s rather lengthy, but I hope you will take time and read the entire post.  I am revealing a piece of my heart to you.  I hope you find this post inspiring, enlightening, and challenging.

I have lost my grandparents, thankfully they both were Christians, and I know that I will see them again one day.  However, I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that there is a piece of my heart that is broken.  It’s broken because neither my Papaw or Mamaw are here to see Little Boy.  

I was blessed to spend 15 years with my Papaw here on Mother Earth.  He was a wonderful example of how a man should be.  He loved The Lord.  I wish you could see his Bible and the notes and highlights all throughout.  He loved life.  He never took anything for granted.  He also loved his family.  He treated my sisters and me with the upmost respect, and we all knew how much he loved us.  Papaw was very special to me.  I remember him always dropping whatever it was he was doing to hang out with me.  Yes, he spoiled me!  Whatever I wanted to do, we’d do…and whatever I wanted, I got.

My Papaw had a soft spot for his girls.  He and Mamaw had my Aunt and my Mom.  Then Mom had three girls of her own.  Papaw showed us what love looked like by treating us all with admiration.  He never raised his voice, or belittled people.  He was always happy to see us.

My Papaw LOVED my Mamaw…and she LOVED him.  I think what I miss most about them not being here is, is the stories they would share with us.  My Papaw knew the first time he met Mamaw that he was going to marry her (sound familiar?).  He pursued her, wooed her, and finally courted her.  They married in 1954 and began their life as husband and wife.  They had their ups and downs, but all I can remember is seeing their love.

My Papaw passed away June 30, 2001 from non hodgkin's lymphoma.  When Papaw took a turn for the worst, Mamaw stepped right up to be there for him.  I can remember him calling her his Herc (short for Hercules) because she was being so strong for him…physically by picking him up and caring for him.  Mentally by taking care of his mind and never leaving his side.  They truly were together until the end.

About a year after Papaw passed, Mamaw moved in with my family.  From 16-23, Mamaw and I were “roommates”.  I know I took her for granted, thinking she was always going to be around.  I mean, everyday she was doing something. She was going on trips with her church group, working out at Curves, or shopping at Kohl’s.  She was always up, and out and about.

I got married and moved out when I was 23.  I would always make a point to stop by and see Mamaw.  If I was out running an errand, had a hair appointment, or just going to hang out at the pool.  I wanted to make sure that I still was going and seeing Mamaw.  I know she was thankful that my sisters and me made a point to hang out.

Fast-forward to 2013.  Mr. and I find out that we’re expecting…tell the family, and are on our way to expanding our family.  Mamaw was SO excited to be a great-grandma.  She bought a few things here and there, and then went crazy with shopping when we found out we were having a boy!

We found out June 17 that we were going to have a baby boy…I will never, ever forget what Mamaw said to me when I told her what we were having.  “K, what are we going to do with a boy?!”  I just belly laughed and said, “The same thing we would do if we were having a girl- love him.”  That was Mamaw…whatever was on her mind- she was going to say.  She was excited about a little boy because he was going to be the first; remember- all my family knows is girls.

Since I was pregnant over the summer, I made it a point to go to Mom and Dad’s every day so I could to get in the pool.  I made sure to eat lunch with Mamaw, chitchat, and then head out.  All she talked about was the baby.   All she wanted to do was hold the baby, and love him.  I think having these conversations and knowing how much she already loved my baby is what makes my heart hurt.  I wish she could have been here to love on and spoil Little Boy.

Summer passed, we moved into Fall…and closer to my due date.  I was heading over to Mom and Dad’s on October 2, to tutor a little girl in reading.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary…Mamaw’s truck was in the driveway.  I got to the house, rang the doorbell- nothing.  Called the house-nothing.  Called Mamaw’s cell phone- nothing. 

I let myself into the house, and yelled for Mamaw.  “Mamaw, I’m here!”- nothing.  I went to Mamaw’s bedroom, and there she was- in her bed no longer apart of our world.  She had passed away in her sleep.  No signs or warnings letting us know that our days together were numbered. 

I was 35 weeks pregnant…and after the shock, I called 911- then my Dad, because Dad’s can always make things better.  The rest is history.

Mamaw has been gone for almost 6 months…and it seems like just 6 days.  I feel like she should be coming home from one of her trips, and showering us with the things the got for us while she was away.  I miss her.  I miss her deeply.

I was blessed to have Papaw and Mamaw apart of my life.  I am blessed that I see both of them in Little Boy.  When I catch Little Boy laughing, I can see my Papaw.  When I talk to Little Boy, I see Mamaw in the way he looks at me and listens intensely. 

Little Boy has a love for Johnny Cash, Conway Twitty, and Elvis.  I know for sure that Mamaw and Papaw were around when The Lord was putting His finishing touches on Little Boy.  I am thankful that they are able to watch him grow, and that he has two people looking out for him, from Heaven.  I hope that I am making them proud.

I hope you take the time to love on your grandparents if they are still around.  Do not take them for granted.  Do not think it’s dumb to give them a call, send them a note, or tell them you love them.  Trust me- it can all change in the blink of an eye.