My Year in Review

I’m sure you are well aware that Facebook created this year in review thing, in which Facebook will look at your page and figure out what your best moments were on social media for 2014.  Yes, I fell prey to it.  I created it, watched it, and shared it with hundreds of ‘friends’.  The whole thing seems kind of funny now.  A short, 10-second, flip through clip shows everyone that’s your ‘friend’ what kind of year you had.  If you honestly care about my year in review, I will be more than happy to share with you here…in my own words.

2014 was a beautiful year, but there were also so ugly moments.  I hate to think that social media portrays this glorious year with a few pictures to prove to people that you’re the happiest person around, or if you are reading this and you’re already passing judgment thinking that I am a horribly miserable woman because I haven’t said anything positive yet- I am neither of those things.  Let me explain.

2014 was a great year of reflection on friendships for me.  I had days where I thought about past relationships that ended with no real closure and thought about trying to get closure.  I had days where I thought, “you know, I have really tried to make this friendship work- why am I not getting anything back in return?”  Then I had days where I avoided Facebook because ‘friends’ would post things and all I did was roll my eyes.

2014 was a year where I thought about deactivating my Facebook page on several occasions.  Then a small voice in the back of my head would say, “Oh, but how will people see pictures of Little Boy?”  “How will I keep in touch with old friends?”  “How will people contact me if they need me for something?”  (I’ve thought about deleting all of my Facebook ‘friends’ and letting people who actually care about what’s going on in my life be a Facebook friend.  I know, that’s a crazy thought, isn’t it?)  I still have the thought of deactivating Facebook; I will let you know when I have made a decision.

2014 is the year I turned 29.  Let me say, this was a hard birthday.  Usually, I’m pretty pumped about birthdays…not my 29^th.  I can’t really explain to you why I was dreading this birthday but I was.  Maybe because I don’t feel like I have really accomplished anything.  Or the fact that I’m not happy with what my bathroom scale has to say.  I don’t know.

I can sit here and type this, and tell you with 100% honesty that 2014 was a year that taught me that I am human.  (I can’t do everything myself.  I have to ask for help.  I depend on others.)  Watching my year in review on Facebook reminds me of how blessed I am though.  I am able to stay home and raise my little boy.  I am healthy (even though I am not happy with the scale).  I have a roof over my head, a warm bed, unfailing love, and faith.  (And those are just the things that come to mind when I think of my Mr.) 

I am confident enough to speak my mind, give my opinion, and admit when I am wrong.  2014 was a year where I had to do all of these things.  In doing so, I learned that I am not perfect, nor do I need to act like I have it all together all the time.  I have days where I’m not happy.  There are days where I am wearing the clothes I had worn the previous day.  There will be days where I can’t find the positive.  Then there are the days where I can’t wipe a smile off my face.  I get everything on my to-do list done.  I am able to get a nap in!  (Those are good days.)

So, Facebook- I’d like to tell you what my year in review should have been.  It should have showed that throughout 2014, I have grown into a woman who I would want to be friends with.  I’m honest, a little over-whelmed, not always put together, maybe a little random; but I am filled with joy.  That’s what you should have shown.