Mother's Day 2014

My first Mother’s Day was incredible.  I am so honored that I have been given the title of “Momma”.  I love it.  I don’t think there is a better title for anything else.

I will say that this was my first Mother’s Day without my Mamaw.  I know that she’s looking down on me as I try my best to be a ‘good mother’.  I know I am instilling the lessons she taught me, into my mothering of Little Boy.

I am writing this post, on the heel of my miscarriage story so I can share with you my Mamaw’s Mother’s Day gift she gave me.  All I can say is, she knew exactly what I needed for my first Mother’s Day.

It all started Thursday night when I went to bed.  I placed Little Boy in his crib, we said our prayers and off I went to close out my day.  As I got ready to go to sleep I said my prayers and specifically remember asking, “Lord, please tell Mamaw and Baby Kimble ‘hello’ from me.”  10 simple words; one powerful dream.

As I drifted off to sleep I began to dream.  I dreamed something so beautiful and special that I wanted to share it with you, because God is SO good.

I don’t know if I was in Heaven, but I was standing behind a glass window, peering into a beautifully manicured garden.  I looked at flowers upon flowers of pinks, yellows, and purples.  Roses, lilies, daisies, beautifully cared for; it was the most beautiful flower garden I had ever seen.  I can’t begin to describe how bright and beautiful this garden was, how lush and green the grass was, how this garden was surrounded with utter peace.

As I continued to study the garden, I saw my Mamaw walking with a young toddler.  The toddler was a little brown hair girl, wearing a little girly dress.  I couldn’t quite make out her face, but I could tell she is special needs.  I knew immediately whom this little girl belonged to.  She was mine.  My Mamaw was walking with my little girl, in her flower garden.

As I continued to watch this garden scene unfold, my Mamaw was showing off all of the flowers.  Mamaw was naming them, and educating my little girl on how to care for them.  I watched where my Mamaw was walking hand in hand with this tiny girl.  I couldn’t take my eyes off them.

Suddenly it seemed that she realized that they were being watched.  Mamaw looked over her shoulder, and right at me.  Everything in that moment stopped.  I gazed right into my Mamaw’s eyes.  Never missing a beat, she smiled at me and said, “Everything is OK.”  They continued to walk until I was no longer able to see them.  I could tell they were both happy, and loved spending time together.  It was evident in my Mamaw’s smile, and the way my little girl wouldn’t let go of her great-grandmother’s hand.

I woke up Friday morning of Mother’s Day weekend whole, happy.  Although I couldn’t make out my little girl’s face, I saw her.  God granted me a glimpse at what’s waiting for me. Mamaw is happy, and continuing to care for a little girl.  My little Kimble is happy.  She has a great-grandmother who adores her.  I am happy knowing that while I wait, I have a peace in knowing that everything is OK.